Bad news: I had to be at work at 7:15. Good news: no one had used the bathroom yet so I got to defile a freshly cleaned stall
New discovery: doing the Helen Keller is not as attractive as I thought it would be, in reference to the sex noises.
I'm either too drunk or not bisexual anymore
.....so he has a son. Josh. That is not his roommate
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
It's my fault I'm alone. My closest relationship is with my blackberry....thank god it vibrates.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
Can you put "designated driver" on a resume?
Just saw a half naked, drunk, 6th grade math teacher throwing small children around to the Titanic soundtrack.
What kind of wedding is this and why wasn't I invited
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i mean, what better way to remind him of his failures in life than to fuck his roommate/fraternity brother?
Her roomates have been scoring her hookups. I got 8.9, best of the week!
omg sorry but i tried to stop you when you were at your drunk limit but i took my eyes off you for like 2 seconds and you suddenly appeared with hard liquor in both hands for yourself and downed them and it was downhill from there
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
I seriously just had to blow dry my thong.
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