If she's not going to maintain the upkeep of her vag then I'm not going to pay the rent of being her boyfriend
only if we run a train.
done.
He just asked me if I ever had the urge to put a zucchini in my ass.
She just wrapped her tongue around my thumb.....lizard girl may be my next wife.
As long as there aren't any pictures of me humping the penguin, we are good,
Yeah but the gay hasidics turned out to actually just be real gay hasidics
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I guarantee that wasn't the first penis someone placed on her forehead.
Do you know anyone with a stuffed cougar? I want one for a self portrait to hang in my house. A bobcat or lynx might work too.
Using Michelob Ultra as champagne.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My uber driver just told me I smell like fun...still drunk at 7 am
I fell asleep completely naked, standing up with my arms and head in the freezer
You were like a drunk and unconscious tickle me elmo.
I'm at home 4 xanax deep watching She's all that.. no I don't want to go out. The couch is eating me.
Randomize
