got them to do a wheelbarrow of shame down the sidewalk after the threesome. I rule
What happened to "I wouldnt even touch her with a ten foot pole"?
Her vagina devoured it.
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
why didn't you tell me his penis tasted like oreos?
I bet. I bought a surfboard and a kite and filled my camelback with vodka-tonics. Let's do this
Lost my virginity dressed as catwoman. He was dressed as batman. Glad I waited.
Just yelled out loud for someone to buy me a drink, 30 seconds later random guy on grindr asks what I'm drinking.
There's a 98% chance your drink will taste like rohypnol
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
He passed out. I tried to set his chest hair on fire.
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
Nothing ruins an orgasm faster than accidentally calling out his boss's name
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
Vodka for breakfast. With a side of Frankenberries. Don't judge me.
i'm not so sure everythign we did last night was legal...
I just hooked up with the German exchange student who doesn't speak English. And you said I have no talent.
Randomize
