i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
we were both hunting dick last night. it ended terribly for both of us.
The dentist just called my mother to confirm the appointment that I made on his answering machine at 4:33 am this morning..
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
Need a ride. Apparently screaming about the bartender's erectile dysfunction gets you kicked out.
fyi, she knows we call her the sperm bank. watch your back.
I wish a box of wine came w a hose. It'd be so much easier to drink from.
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
its ok, the prom king gave me his crown to puke in
Nick is about to bring home a woman who is 39, a mother, and, by all accounts, FUCKING HOMELESS. Will update as details become available.
I love you too! Remember NO alcohol or weed at my residence because of legal ramifications.
Me too, I feel like I pinched your nipples excessively. At the time it seemed like a good idea, but in retrospect I'm not so sure.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
I’m really regretting these suede pants.
How did the test come back?
I've never been so happy to have a yeast infection. And i got a free pack of birth control
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