What happened to our ballroom dancing plans
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
i was just lookin through my fb pics and i think im with a cat in like 40% of them..: how sad is my life
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
I am a mess. Weirdest thing: I woke up with a hammer under my pillow. No idea why.
she said she was gay. i said prove it. she said "ok i wont fuck you"
We waited til after. Not even drunk sex felt right during a Disney movie.
I let a guy with dreads drive my car, then demanded he take me back cause I don't let strangers drive my car, while repeatedly apologizing for being a cock block.
Jesus just hopped over the fence with a rack of coors. How's your Halloween?
My name in their phones is "That Girl". If i can't get it to go away, I might as well live up to it.
I agreed not to hook up with any randoms while she's on vacation, if that isn't a show of good faith then I don't know what is...
All I remember from the concert was leaving in an RV full of middle aged people playing circle of death
You merely adopted the alcohol. I was born into it. Molded by it. I didn't see the hang over until I was a man and by then it was only blinding.
I literally wonder, frequently, "Will anyone ever fuck me until i go cross eyed for 2 hours again?''
All I did was call him a fucker when he took my pot. He didn't have to arrest me.
Randomize
