well if you came here i would keep you awake :*
did you just kiss me??? ... dude, im not gay
Getting high on the stoop of a brownstone in the middle oh harlem. Doesn't get much more hey arnold than this.
she was giving me head and that cheryl crow 'youre favorite mistake' song came on. she looks up and all i could do was nod
thanks for showing me a good time......and your penis a few times. Thanks especially for that.
hey, haven't seen your testicles in a while...you 3 still alive?
He tried eating fireworks, to stop him being hungover in the morning. Where do you keep finding these people?!
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
You're always so generous when it comes to your dick.
Huh interesting. Well thats too bad. Did he catch on?
I doubt it. After sex he sat there naked until the episode of fresh prince (which had JUST started) was over.
Hey dude this is some next level no homo shit but im gonna get 2 tickets to the opera and go Hail Mary on this one girl. U take the extra ticket if i fail.
So I saw her today...and it was weird...she is just like not pregnant anymore.
Dude...how high are you? of course she isnt pregnant anymore...thats what happens when you give birth
I just need like a magic vacuum to suck everything out of me and then an IV to put good stuff back in
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
Randomize