you know what scares the shit out of me? i have eaten bagel bites since i was a little kid and just in the past five years they started puting "made with real cheese" WHAT THE FUCK WERE THEY USING BEFORE? i mean ive been a bagel biter since the womb
you googled " I want to buy a live ostrich". I'd say you were pretty wasted.
You tired to make Beefaroni in the Mr. Coffee machine.
The stories of what you did in Cuba got home before you.
so the time management class we had to take for work seems to be working. I just beat off instead of waiting for gf to get home bc it fit my schedule better.
and on the fourth day, god made foam parties.
You made a course evaluation for your vagina? Wow. You really are a professor now.
Just to clarify, I'm still tripping balls
On an unrelated note, I've come up with a theory of everything
Its 8 in the morning and I wouldn't pass a breathalyzer test, How's your day been?
With a butt like mine I'll never have to pay for Netflix again.
That was when I yelled "Wisconsin powers activate!" and took off sprinting across the ice
Her new crush is a 6'2" guacamole baron that may also be a Jedi.
Dude she literally licked him. He was covered in cheese and in her high state what else was she gonna do?
I don't see why I have to pay for it.
your head went through the window, you're pretty much obligated to pay for it.
I wish he’d realize all I want is dick. He’s my boytoy. He’s a stunt cock. \n\nCome over, fuck me silly, eat some leftovers, fuck me again, then go back to the frat house
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