scale of 1-10 how well do I give head
5, but i have never had a 10. best was an 8 so if i grade you on a curve you are a 7. ish.
After I made out with her she fell asleep and started pooting in her sleep. Are we sure lesbians are hot? Cause that wasn't.
Walt I've been the third wheel taking shotssssssssssssssssolo. Each s is for each solo shot.
He said I did a backflip off the thing on the doorframe and busted my ass. I'd give anything to remember
Everyone is slow dancing to Aerosmith. I am serenading a slice of pizza.
Pretty sure I was rubbing Halloween candy all over my face and saying "these are my bitches."
My goal for break? Fuck all my exes in reverse order.
He kept humping my leg and whispering "dont worry, thats my phone not my penis"
I just realized in a weird reversed way I hustled a stripper last night
I don't know which I need first...a shower or a confessional.
If I make it through this whole bridesmaid process without anyone knowing that I actually hate everyone but the bride, including the groom, I deserve a complimentary bottle of vodka.
Fun. You missed it. Michael broke a door with his erection.
does anyone know where bryan is?
last i saw he was naked, and crying in the bathroom because there was no more booze.
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
Randomize
