You hurt me so bad and it feels so good
Midget sex pt 2 tonight
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
you think it's bad that I have four different guys toothbrushes in my bathroom?
I cut you off after you tried to do a shot out of a neti pot, down your nose.
explains the nose bleeds.
I literally might walk of shame home on a cable car. If that doesn't scream San Francisco I don't know what does
the taxi driver actually pulled over to let us moon a house full of people
Mass texted booty calls to all the guys I've hooked up with this year to commemorate the end of the semester.
Aparently i was the only guy at her parents bbq throwing up in the pool so Im the asshole right...
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
You got her pregnant one week before your vasectomy? You couldn't wait one week to cheat on me?
Lol no. She's home safe. You forget she is too pretty to get arrested.
So I've been in more fights on one leg than I've had on two.
Dude, I can't even reach my asshole to wipe it. I have a lot more to be thankful for this Thanksgiving.
I can't help you there
well theres no bloody mary mix at the campus bookstore so i dont even know what its good for
Randomize
