think what you will about my sexuality, just get the cigarettes
So my roomate was sunbathing this morning on the porch with a sock covering his penis
Sounds like a really classy character....
He is classy. It was argyle.
I think I might be in your shoes. Except they are actually my shoes. Either way these shoes are wasted.
suddenly SuperBad didn't seem so funny anymore...she did have her period on my leg.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just told me i had to find a fake by next wednesday.
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
we walked around the neighborhood with caution tape tied around our foreheads, making indian noises. I might have disturbed a crime scene to make a native american headdress.
I'm being an old woman and getting trashed in a night gown in public...of course it's going to be fun
Someone just told me I could double date with them and their dog as my date. This is why the suicide rates are so high at the holidays.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Four times in one night? That Energizer bunny outfit lived up to the hype.
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Not gonna make it. My ovaries are playing laser tag
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
So hungover that I might just sit in my car and wait until chipotle opens...in two hours...
He’s disease free and drives a Porsche. What else does a girl need?
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