I just found out how hard it is to put together a fake Christmas tree with a hangover.
They pulled him over whille he had a fish tank full of beer in his front seat. He told them it coudn't count as an open container cause the top was on it.
He's drunk and putting on a tie for the jimmy john's delivery guy
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you kept telling her you'd make a great step-dad while cuddling her and rubbing her back...
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
No like you fell onto the fence. I don't even know how you got into the fenced in area.
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
tonight were gonna drink champagne and watch girls put themselves in awkward position
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He told me to be careful with the shrooms because he mostly had caps left. He sounded apologetic but that's the best news all week.
When we were all out of beer you took a bite out of the cardboard beer box and said "close enough."
I feel like I should be having more sex dreams of my boyfriend than his sister..
When did we go from stumbling drunk into an ER at 3am to dinner double dating?
I'm just glad you didn't end up in Staten Island
I woke up naked holding a taco. My ass couldn't even make it to my bed let alone Staten Island
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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