I woke up with my face in a pile of pancakes and 3000 mistakes.
Its like common courtesy of dating, the guy pays for the weed, just like dinner
his blackberry tasks were 1. take names and 2. kick ass
i hate this class. from the way they're all staring you would think they've never seen a girl in basketball shorts, heels and sunglasses.
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I just threw up in a patch of wild flowers on the side of the road. I never knew rock bottom was so beautiful.
He just sent me a picture of me icing a cake with a butcher knife topless.
You know our reunion in two weeks shall be a drunken bikini clad magical adventure right
What is their policy on bow ties and belligerence?
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
You aren't truly friends with someone until you play drinking games via text at 8:30 in the morning.
There should be a Doritos delivery van or something.
We had sex six times. In a span of 8 hours. Confirmation I don't need to go to the gym.
He kept screaming "I am the thunder!" when he was riding me.
Cover your peen. We're going out.
Randomize
