thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
once my pubes got caught on her snaggletooth it was all downhill from there
I wouldnt consider it a good Wednesday if there wasn't any projectile vomit involved
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Dont make this weird.... I was wondering if I could paper mache a few of your dildos this weekend?
He just had a handle of vodka with ice in it yelling at people hot august night mother fuckaaaaa and was pouring it on his face
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
You kept saying you we're gonna puke and wanted to steal my pants
That does not explain the remnants of a small fire in my bathtub.
He said that I looked like a "ghost had crawled up into my vagina and died"..so yeah, I'd say the hangover was noticeable.
I had to rename my dildo. I met a little kid who named his teddy bear the same name. It just felt wrong.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
At one point in the night, as we were running from the cops, I clearly remember you yelling "little gnomes are tickling the insides of my body!" ...that high.
69'd by candlelight when the power went out.
Randomize
