i just had sex. the condom broke. we're sleeping in to separate beds. And im in albany
we just fucked in the mcds parking lot
wasnt he a virgin
yes we got celebratory milkshakes after
I don't know what you're doing, but there's a dragon on my street.
i am about to cut my stepbrother's hair into a mohawk with the same clippers i use to trim my pubes. god is so on my side today.
just puked in a purse in the store. some girl asked if i was gonna buy it now and i laughed and asked her why id want a bag some dude just puked in. her face looked like she saw the devil.
Seriously, in what other class can the final major discussion be what bar you're going to with your prof?
I just went to pick up my pigeon from your house. You should be getting a picture soon
Nothing like moscato in your sinuses tobmake your night complete
I hooked up with a blind guy last night... he's clapping in order to find his way around our apartment
I think I was just hit on by Jesus Christ. This is not okay. Bad Touch. I NEED AN ADULT!
Calm the hell down, it's just stoner Bob.
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
"They let me see the x-ray. My nose is broken. I saw it. It was cool. Well, I guess it would be cooler if it wasn't my nose."
if you and your penis don't hurry up, I'm getting drunk without you.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
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