He just screamed at her, "if you pass out i am still having sex with you!!!" In front of the entire party.
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
She wanted to watch a Baby Einstein DVD while we fucked. I'm pretty open minded but that felt a little creepy.
I farted on Jack's balls last night. He got pissed and walked away cause he knew it was on purpose. I couldn't hold it in anymore.
Just made everyone at my party download the vuvuzela app for iPhone, the neighbors absolutely HATE us
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
I have now added draft and wells specials that different bars have to my blackberry calendar.. Help me.
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
This is the weirdest negotiation ever.
This is what happens when two people with zero shame try to argue.
all my mom knows is what I put on facebook. So... I mean... She knows we drink a lot.
You know it's a good Halloween party when a guy wearing a light-up sombrero offers you blow.
This guy knew what he was doing. Most guys can't find the spot even if it shot off a flare and played a kazoo.
Of fucking course I get my period on Valentine's Day...
Randomize
