I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
Shiiiit I think I'm getting sick. probably had something to do with the fact that i shared my mouth with everyone last night.
Wait. That came out far sluttier than I intended.
My cha cha got a haircut
thank god. going down on you was like chewing on astroturf
Is it sad I don't want to go buy $1 Mac-n-cheese cause I need to pay rent... I'm re-naming this college.
Also, peanut butter on a spoon dinner is back in existence and it is good.
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
You can kiss the security deposit goodbye after you and your boyfriend did donuts on his moped in the middle of the apartment. It was impressive since you were both too drunk to walk.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
I think you are severely overestimating being able to get your lingerie back by posting the lyrics of Irreplaceable
Hooray! My email address wasn't leaked by Ashley Madison!
I will chop off your penis
I like your optimism Chelsea but I'm not about getting my salad tossed
We told him to puke in the Denny's parking lot or we wouldn't be his friend anymore. So he did. He wasn't even drunk.
Can’t fucking wait for Tuesday night. Have another situation that popped up. I swear my life is like a cross between a soap opera and a porno
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