So what's the moral of this story? Aside from 'lesbians hold grudges'?
Maybe he just has a boisterous penis
Just passed a strip club with a Marquis sign that said 'tis the squeezin'
had to bail. she had her cat tattooed on her
I think one day, after evolution kicks in, my sons will thank me for having a 3rd ball. That's how much sex I'm having.
He offered me a 30 pack if I don't bring her to the party. Am I a bad friend If I take his offer?
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
Pretty sure I humiliated the fuck out of myself last night after I was dared to attempt to give myself head. I hate vodka
I was trying to get everyone to go to the bar but I puked on my hands, so nobody took me seriously.
My walk of shame was 2 miles of feathers flying off of me, underwear in hand, and a homeless man telling me he'd pray for me. It was gold medal worthy.
okay we need to get tested.
no YOU need to get tested. I'm just going along for the ride.
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
I just got a robo call from the Addiction Help Line. Not sure how to take that.
On the way home she told me she was in kindergarten when 9/11 happened
YOu just turned down my vagina. Something must be wrong. Vegas changed you!
Randomize
