It's true. Ladies love me because I'm so strong and they feel safe. Not because of my pseudo charm and their impaired judgement after several drinks...
in the morning i found her name, number and address on one of the empty pizza boxes. also said "ps. if you find my shoes please mail to me."
I told him I wanted to have sex to "halleluiah", he suggested the poke-rap.
I just wiped my face with a slice of bread. Lowest point of the night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
yeah except there is a correlation between drinking moonshine and going blind, which kind of concerns me
Just an FYI: The offer for you to come snow blow my driveway in return for sexual favors is still on the table
she just pulled a hulk hogan to make her point. no idea how it helped
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
You're only allowed to hookup with one freshman a semester. MAKE IT COUNT.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
some how during sex we caught an ENTIRE pillow on fire. A WHOLE PILLOW.
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
Found out the cop gives spectacular head. Don't ask. We're going out to dinner Saturday.
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Little girl was fucking around on the train and completely ran her head into a pole. Totally burst out laughing as she cried. Her mom was not amused. I don't think I should be a Mom. EVER.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize