You Definitely drank the goldfish bowl like it was a giant margarita
idk, it's all black and i hear low talking...
dude, i think you're in initiation!
shit. that's not good.
so my phone accidentally called my dad from my purse at 2:14am....he has a 5 min voicemail of me discussing how Alicia should bang the guy who eats good pussy... i can never look at my dad in the face again....
you started crying about dinosaurs being extinct
that's why i woke up holding that dina girls hand
she's a dina-saur
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
So this snow storm is NOT helpin my masturbation problem
the clerk said it was the first time she had ever seen someone walk in the next day to return the tux still wearing the tux
It was awkward being the only one at the wedding who knows that the bride and groom met when she gave him a lap dance at a strip club
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
it was pretty much a given that i would lose my thong on dollar tequilla shot night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
So I found where you barfed in my house. Just wanted to let you know that my cat barfed on the kitchen floor in a show of solidarity
If it makes you feel any better, I'm eating a block of cheese...
You know your acid trip is going well when the orange you're eating gives you a life lesson
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
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