Unfortunately, they didn't pull of their wake and bake plans. Instead, they waked and vomited like a half-retarded giraffe till everyone woke up.
I didn't think her British accent was real until I saw how fucked up her teeth were.
Just signed my boyfriend up on a dating website so I could officially have a reason to leave him for my hot neighbor.
OH MY GOD MY GRANDMA JUST SHOWED ME HER BOOB OH. MY. GOD.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You have to keep an eye on her tonight cause you know how she likes to pickpocket people when she's drunk.
God she is annoying. I am only keeping her around on fb because I want to see if her baby comes out looking like an alien or not.
i was giving head the other day and thought of your all penis tastes the same quote and couldnt stop laughing
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
I just stood still on a stair at the train station expecting it to go down automatically like an escalator... Today's going to be a good day
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You don't even know. The entire marching band thinks I'm an alcoholic.
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
He left stubble rash on my thighs and cooked me bacon before 9am. I need to lock this down STAT
What are we just gonna be those girls that get fucked in your parents basement and not get taken to dinner? I don't wanna be those girls.
in the future we should consider sippy cups so we can drink and passout accordingly
Remember the random guy who licked my face when we were at the bar the other night?
Yeah. His name is Andrew. We just met
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