i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
I either just heard my neighbors having sex or she really agreed with whatever he was talking about.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
We've been fucking since Friday.... This is the most committed non-committed relationship I've ever been in
After he came he asked what I was doing for thanksgiving.
My dealer threw in a "freestyle rap" today with my purchase. I dont know if I can handle this relationship.
Omg considering I am covered in cake and probably cocaine that is the greatest news I have ever heard
Your expertise in crazy bitches is needed.
Got him to take a shot from the drip pan on the George Forman. He's gone now.
I'm doing running of the bulls tomorrow at 7am...except in New Orleans roller derby girls chase you.
Dude I thought she was trying to turn my dick inside out
You have more time for sex than anyone I know.
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
You were trust falling into bushes
I just walked in on her masturbating to a social anxiety video...
Randomize
