and pubic hair rears its ugly head again
Just found out my drug dealer is also a porn star. It's a good day.
He said that if more girls show up hes not going to ask ages... Spoken like a true sex offender
It never fails.. every time I have a dick in my mouth he calls me.
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Standing in my kitchen eating choc chip cookie batter from the bowl. As sad as it is, I kinda like the places bad breakups take me.
He always tells me he misses my clit. I feel like I should make a drinking game out of it
Everyone loves nachos, first of all. Second, Ke$ha is entirely appropriate for the age grou too young to realize she probably has Hep C.
btw you left your chapstick on the nightstand and bruises on my body...
gifts from me to you. you're welcome.
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
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as he was bent over the toilet, he turned to me and said "barbarian kyle is much stronger than regular kyle" and then went right back to puking.
I started singing I believe I can fly in the shower and it was like the first stage of insanity
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
Yeah well I just had an orgasm on my bathroom floor so there's a first for everything I guess
Girl i am always here for you. But i am going to have sex now so im going to call you in the morning.
So I scratched the whole boyfriend plan and got wasted. Wanna try again tomorrow?
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