I was so drunk last night I wanted to download a Busta Rhymes album.
I just realized that i have never seen about 30 percent of my friends sober before
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
I just went in my fridge and said to my turkey "see you thursday". I seriously have issues
You fell asleep leaning on my shoulder at the bar
Breathalizer & tazer party did not go as casually as expected.
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
I was thinking more like a "sorry you can hear us, but I'm having the best sex of my life" cake
When in doubt, it's too much cheese
who is that guy in your bed? he looks like jesus..way to keep it festive
I mean you can one up her. Instead of ruining friendships you can ruin marriages.
So, I never imagined myself puking on the side of the road at 10:30 this morning to Lynyrd Skynyrd but here I am.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
It's 7am. I'm making pizza & watching the Matrix. I will not be bothered.
To answer your next question, yes, I'm drunk.
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
Randomize
