she says her boyfriend and her dignity are both out of town tonight
Fuck that. Livers are so overdramatic and attention hungry.
If it makes you feel any better, i gave her boyfriend a blowjob last week.
Clearly that person doesn't understand how efficient getting drunk and working out at the same time is.
I'm going to sing sad and lonely Barbra Streisand songs at the top of my lungs if you don't get here soon
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
So the TSA can feel me inside and out in front of 40 people, but they catch me fucking in the bathroom 20 feet away and all of a sudden their the decency police
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
i agree, on both the sex thing and the unrepentant bastard thing
Still alive. Just brushed my teeth with fireball.
I just wiped cum off my face with baby wipes... #momlife
It's difficult when the romantic and the hedonist in me are fighting. I want him to respect me and hopefully pursue an actual relationship, but then I remember he fucks like a GOD and loves my kink. Oh, life's hard.
Randomize
