Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
drunk tastebuds have low standards.
My male hookup buddy is gonna meet my female hookup buddy, let the awkward hookup games begin!
my coworker just texted me asking if i remember pissing in the mop bucket at the gas station
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just dont tell him. Tell him you colored your vagina for breast cancer awareness month. He will understand.
I'll do a soapy photo shoot for you in the shower. No loofas, though. Once you get one of those caught in your nipple ring, you never go back.
She said "I've been waiting to suck your cock since high school." I'm so glad so many freshmen are from our school.
We now only communicate via Xbox messages. Living together is so easy
Just told my boss I wasn't coming in to work because of a serious case of blue balls. Totally made having them worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I do NOT want to date a man who has no interest in going to a kangaroo farm
Forced to cancel my booty call due to the snowpocalypse. This crosses the line.
Ugh, I should just give up, and fuck him in a parking lot, and shave my head and walk naked through the streets of King's Landing.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
Had to claim I'd "gone lesbian" to get my cat back. Thank God I got away from that one.
You were telling everyone in the bar that Jess gave you scurvy.
Randomize