I cant wait to get the disapproving look from this elderly black lady...
I would say the hottest chick there looked like Susan Boyle and the ugliest like Bea Arthur
Nice use of current day folklore
This is why I shouldn't be left alone with liquor and anticipation.
Just slept with a female bodybuilder. not cute. but it was like fucking hulk hogan with a twat. Beastly.
im so disgusted with myself. funny thing was i lasted 15 seconds. she benches 325
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
Seriously? We dated for 2 weeks. TWO. And I've crushed his soul and put out the light in his dark world? What the actual fuck.
Yeah, well. That's what you get for dating a musician.
I was dancing with a blow torch in one hand and a bowl of weed in the other
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
The man was doing everything in his power to get away from his wife, including go into the gay club.
So i stood up out of the sunroof while he gave me oral. Car was still moving. Exactly how illegal is that?
I mean. I just want to sit in my bed and eat bagels. What's wrong with that?
Should probably stop going into the gas station to look for the most normal person to hitch a ride with to drive me to a party
You know it was a weird week when you have a mystery bruise and youre unsure if it was from crazy sex or getting bit by a duck. Life.
I've run into almost every guy I've ever slept with today. It's like they know just how horny I am.
I’m 37 with a career and a home and yesterday my niece set up Snapchat so I can sext with my 22 year old boyfriend/fuck buddy. Yes. Yes I’d say I need help?
Randomize
