come over anyways, right now, right this second
it can be a super quick quicky, then you can go back to studying
wow, that sounds SO fun, please stop enticing me with premature ejaculation
Im listening to a jazz version of dick in a box.
I had fun last night. We should have sex less often.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I'm reducing my diet to vodka and rice cakes.
Whatever is fine with me, as long as I am dressed in green and end up shitfaced.
Professor took us out for drinks. She said if I ordered the 64oz "Call a Cab," she'd give me an A. I drank it in 5 minutes. A+?
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
I just got a huge discount at GameStop for having tits. I win.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
How much weed can I reasonably smoke now if I have to leave for work in a bit over an hour
Thanks for going with me today. It’s been a long time since I bought bra and panties because of a guy
It’s called “shopping for lingerie” and it’s one of the many exciting and sexy things that follow a divorce, along with sexting, sleepovers, and orgasms
But, our next lesson is picking up a younger guys at the bar!
Randomize
