Luol and I just scored with two 40 year old married chicks. They dropped us off on the way to soccer prctic. The kids in the back were confused. Call me.
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
don't blame me for your drunken lack of judgement
big words... still drunk. dont care. your fault.
sorry he hasn't talked to me since the surprise salvia incident...
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Spent the entire ride home from downtown trying to convince designated dawgs to drop us off at waffle house instead of our apartment. i told them it was my house...they didn't buy it.
You are the only one who would stop a bum, tell him to open up, then pour straight vodka in his mouth. You made his year.
Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
will i regret this in the morrning? probably. but every decision is good during happy hour
Is that a tongue signal to get over there? That's how my two heads are taking it.
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History professor is at the bar. Hurry! There's only so many A's he could give before it starts to look bad.
I texted him in the morning wishing him a day as spectacular as his dick was.
Come share oat with me in your robe
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
I showed up to a job interview wearing two different shoes. If that's not an omen, I don't know what is.
Ok, you agree to the terms? We can have sex, but this doesn't mean we're back together...it just means we're working on things. Got it? Sign here.
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