stupid gm bankruptcy made me miss the showcase showdown
Those cock suckers. We need to know who's winning the hot tub and the vacation to the alps
she was a 2....and a legitimate 2. like, helen keller is a 1, this girl...2.
Thats about the time I should have known you would run around naked and try to make out with my sleeping mother
We just described beer as "big boy apple juice" to his 2 year old.
He called me a "functional alcoholic" like its a bad thing.
All he said was "Yeah, there's a lot of air down there. And penis."
If I can't pick up a cat lady, I probably need to turn to Internet dating.
It's like being the highest you've ever been, then doing about 20 shots, and chasing them with lines of coke. All while laying on the surface of the sun.
No, trust me. Falling down the stairs is a fucking sobering experience.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I tried to high-five the cop last night. he just looked at my raised hand and told me to go to bed.
WHAT GOOD IS APPRECIATING IF NOBODY'S NAKED
"what's it like being a dancer turned stoner" well, i can change the netflix using my feet mid bongrip, so there's that.
He told me that after two hours of fucking he feels as though his dick wants to detach from his body and go to Mexico..
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
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