i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I'm drinking whiskey outta the bottle trying to earn the trust of some ducks in the yard
he said he would handcuff me to his penis. thats not even possible. i want to go home.
Great. Woke up in Ts room wearing one sock, a glove and a beret with a sorrority chick CLEARLY out of my league. Jose Cuervo you ARE a friend of mine.
They made out. Sounded like hippos drinking water
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
I told my mom I'm great in bed. That is quality mother daughter bonding.
I think curling is the best thing to watch when you're baked.
Let's go. I'm waiting for my time to shine among the stars of never never land. Make sure you bring my Peter Pan costume this time. Shit's bout to get real glittery.
I get a little bitchy. We all know that
I came over to get dick...not to watch you vacuum....at 2 AM
I didn't want to shower, so I shaved my legs in the pool . That drunk .
sober me needs to have more faith in drunk me.
Why is there a pair of panties on my front lawn?
Randomize
