You told me you were pretty sure you were god because you knew everything about everyone.
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
i ordered 12 mcnuggets at mcdonalds and ended up getting 20. for free. miracles really do happen when your high.
We just made a drinking game out of our chemistry review. This might explain my chemistry grade.
how exactly do you say, "i only agreed to meet you for breakfast because i thought we could go to your place and fuck afterwards."
Just called my dad drunk from bed to ask for bacon.. my niece texted me when it was ready.. i'm never moving out
as i sobered up i realized that her cute accent was actually a speech impediment
I know but at least you've never been asked to have sex dressed up like Catwoman
Two words: blizzard sex
Feel weird saying this on Facebook, but a dildo collecting demigod sounds like somebody I'd at least hang with for a minute.
I'm sorry I tried to spit drugs down your throat like a baby bird last night.
Well I've always wanted to get head while playing WoW...
K I'll do it, but mine is going to be WAY weirder. Your not allergic to shellfish, right?
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
you asked if you could borrow my vagina for the night
That man fucks like a champ. The sex was so good I did him again in the morning just to be sure
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