hi i'm bored and kind of... in a sort of dirty mood
pics
no i'm at a mixer dressed up as the teenage mutant ninja turtles
dude, you're being a jerk.
sorry, didn't mean to pull a Cheney
Did you ever feel like going into a planned parenthood and performing an abortion in front of them?
Umm..who the fuck is this?
Oh shit
Your ability to be a slut in your nightmare astounds me
Hm, finding a time when my drinking and your real life don't conflict could be difficult
Went to the strip club with my aunt. Do you know how hard it is to be a pervert in front of your female family members?
I just wanna go somewhere and not be judged for wearing spandex shorts that make my ass look like a slice of fucking heaven. Is that so much to ask??
I just remembered that i did pull ups in a bikini on the porch of Red Lobster last night. someone needs to stage an intervention
Trying to do the walk of shame over here WHY are there a hundred ppl on the el?! Thank god I pulled a summit and wore casual clothes I even stopped by the farmers market and bought some squash
I mean, as I was vomiting in front of a giant crucifix I became acutely aware of my poor choices
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
So you're mad that I let you go home with the guy with soft hands but yet you can't understand that I was just trying to help you
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
You spent the entire night trying to catch pigeons and hugged a homeless guy and then gave him a pregnancy test.
Unexpected pro of the hostel though: literally down the street from Coors Field. I could literally fart on the building in five minutes.
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