did you know they have Ed Hardy school supplies at Target? it's like folders and notebooks for little douchebags in training.
So we stole all of the newspapers out of the stands within a 1 mile radius and filled up her car with crumpled newspaper.
Who leaves their car unlocked at night?
Someone who wants to read the newspaper.
okay so i know you are missing your wallet but at least its not your tooth. i am missing my tooth.
right before he busted, he moaned the british are coming.
only on the fourth of july.
He doesn't fuck you and he's married, why do you keep letting him cum all over your stomach?
In the hopes he'll just put it in one day?
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
If i ever have a kid with an outie i'm giving it up for adoption
You need to let me be on top sometimes. I gotta get rid of these love handles
she brought my homemade cookies with condoms taped to the box... im in love
At least she'll always have a story about the time she showed up to the emergency room drunk and covered in chocolate syrup on her birthday.
I just woke up under my desk. Not to worry though, no one is in the office yet
she fell asleep in a torn bush after playing cards at a nursing home.
I found my bra I wore on Friday night...he fucked the underwire out of it
hahahahaha
So far 2 of my professors caught me looking at their dicks
I have serious attachment issues. I just realized how long its been since ive smoked out of my bong and I feel guilty for dis owning it this week
Randomize
