my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I bet the first cavemant to make fire got so much pussy
We should write a comic book about the many adventures of your vagina. Maybe even give it a cape or something.
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
Theres a handprint of sauce on my frig, one streaked across my face, a trail of it to my bedroom and sauce all in my bed and i have no idea what the fuck i ate.
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
No, fuck buddies don't get birthday party privledges...
Sorry.
there is a video of me from last night trying to light my breath on fire. that drunk.
well, I yelled "the tribe has spoken!" at a boatload of people and then I walked home alone in the pouring rain at 1:30am. karma really is a bitch, yo.
I'm not sure I can continue to condone our having sex in all of your friends' beds
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
Had to take him to the ER for not only alcohol poisoning but for stepping on a firecracker. Happy 4th holy fuck
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
Randomize
