what time did you get home last night?
SO late...when your in the lap of a 35 year old superstar you loose track of time
He said to me " i could be your father but i dont care"...it was so hott
I've been emailing with a woman. I don't think she's into me, but we've become sorta email buddies. I'm hoping to meet her because on her profile she states she's into 'fisting.' Frankly the thought kinda freaks me out but I'm dying to see what kind of woman is 1) into that and 2) admits it upfront.
he cracked the bottle of jager at 11am and said "hey, its Saturday and I gotta do something"
Somehow I feel more guilty using her razor then I do having sex with her boyfriend...
we found a loaf of bread in my bathroom i believe its yours. sorry i took a shower before we noticed so it might be soggy
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Okay good. I don't want another mom thinking I got their daughter pregnant.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
I was short on money so I let my roommate mase me for $60
Finals week...the biggest cock block since your brother threatened me with a beer bottle at the bar.
Things in my bed this morning: a Waffle House hat, a finding nemo DVD, sharpies, my graduation robes and an adult diaper. Did we play drunk scavenger hunt again?
I woke up in a toga after going to a Hawaiian party. I don't even know.
Gave up on finding an ashtray.... just started flicking it in my purse.
You don't realize how cold it really is...I poured my bong out the second floor window and icicles hit the ground.
Can I come by? I want you to meet my squirrel
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