I'm in that stage of denial where I hope our kids have his nose.
You do realize that you broke up with him, right?
There was a pool of blood on my desk and we still don't know who it belongs to. missed a good party, man.
do guys with small dicks even attempt to pursue romantic relationships?
i just shaved my vag. i figure it gave me about ten more minutes to drink tomorrow.
I wish you would stop telling everyone that your cock turned me into a Bears fan.
And I was aware of my actions - that is not a penis I will say no to until I have a ring on my finger
Riding the train home at 6 am for class still drunk is losing its novelty in my junior year
Did you take the bag w/your drugs & cookie cutter?
So, Cheetos don't microwave great.
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
After we banged he volunteered to ducksit while I went to work. I think that's true love.
At one point my little brother was Rocky Balboa'd by a stripper's tit
Hypothetically speaking how does one remove a lamp that they hypothetically superglued to the ceiling?
Acetone nail polish remover, and you lied about studying last night didn't you?
Oh definitely.
Smargarita sloshedurday tomorrow around 2
Bring a helmet for your liver
Who put my cat in the fridge?
Randomize
