Is it weird that I think of Ennis from Brokeback Mountain everytime I hear "Make em Say" by Master P? "I don't need your money. Huh." NA NA NA NAAA.
Do u kno any dealers?
I've officially lost all respect for you, dad.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
come over i need a lifeguard for my shower
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
We're smoking a joint the size of the average penis right now. I may not survive.
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I legit had to pull him off my car. Then he texted me saying 'take me places.' Shotgun getting that drunk tonight
Cats found the secret coke stash again
They owe us $80.
He likes bondage and spanking and shit.
Oh, so "normal" kinky not "I wanna pee on people" kinky. I can handle that.
too late I already started a fight with someone named luscious
just because you have a nice tits it doesn't make you a magic little snowflake.
Most tragic bathtub-fart of all time. I am going to be late.
I mean I could but due to my age and being a mother and all I feel it's poor judgment to give fellatio in a public establishment.
Side note: I apologize for sex being the subject of every single one of my texts. That's what happens when you date an older man who constantly denies you sex on the basis of his ridiculous morals.
Randomize
