We are brilliant. We call it the pint walk. Killing a pint of vodka while we walk from cleveland park to dupont. just making mama proud
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
absolutely not. he will always be that kid that threw up a ham and cheese sandwich in fourth grade to me.
I'm going to listen to christmas music to trick my body into cooling off.
I'd just like to inform all involved that walking into a liquor store holding a milk crate at the beginning of a night as stock ends badly
I NEED YOU HERE TO KNOCK THE MALT BEVERAGES OUT OF MY MOUTH
Nothing like a false "my-dad-found-my-weed" alarm on Christmas day.
Mimosa dick, like his cousin Whiskey dick, is just as ineffective but a lot more fun to be around
Last night at the bar you we're seriously going up to people and pushing through them like they were bowling pins and you were a bowling ball
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Puke-y regrets or just things-seem-far-away regrets?
I accepted my type is not "conventionally attractive" when she asked me "Him? Are you sure?" 5 times in front of him last night
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
We were all having a bath, the three of us, then that drug dealer guy walked in and peed. Sitting down. Apparently he didn't want to offend us.
I look forward to getting really drunk tonight and startling some rando’s mother tomorrow morning while she’s up early making a turkey
It’s a holiday tradition at this point
Randomize
