if I hooked up with that creppy kkid in bio does that count as doing charity work during the holidays?
"reccomended dose" hasn't been in my vocabulary for quite some time.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
remember our old mantra: why can't life be as easy as we are?
When the cops pulled up I just stood flat against the fence with my hands up while yelling out,"I'm a tree!!"...
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Whatever you do tomorrow don't let me put on the Borat mankini and yell "POLAR PLUNGE!!" while diving into the pool
The pool is covered.....
Like that would stop me.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
If you can handle my post-party look you da real MVP
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
Howd it go?
Well we had the "no we're not fucking on the porch" conversation but then we totally fucked on the porch. So I'd say alright.
... why is there baby oil , black socks and frozen hot dogs in the sink this morning ?
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
We still on for Manwhore Monday?
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