he only lasted 2 minutes. he said it was because i was so pretty. i'm not sure what to feel right now.
fyi, take the long route to the library. the "can i be your baby daddy?" homeless man migrated back for winter
She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
Make sure you take the apple pie out of your pocket before you pass out.
I was tackling you out of excitement
Yeah thank goodness the stripper pole was there to break my fall.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
Oh you know, we just bobbed for apples in a bucket full of jungle juice. So, a casual Tuesday night.
Thanks for the cold. I shartted and sat through a whole soccer game. James made 3 scores.
And literally 4loko margaritas are callin my name. They're like "Hey girl come on over here I'll make you forget about grades and boys and it'll be a good idea to send everyone 55 snapchats of your cleavage" ok
high moment I think I just reached personal nirvana
I couldn't read the menu. I ordered the first thing I was able to read. Don't think I ate anything. Left $20 on the table.
I literally just ordered a gold medal online that is engraved with his name, "01.01.16", and "BEST SEX EVER"
was i wearing any clothes at that point?
socks and a thong
My ex's girlfriend just invited me clubbing. Guess who won the breakup?
It was just like the old times. We watched movies and shit. But not like old times-i fucked her hot brother when she was in the shower? Times are a'changin.
Randomize
