Duck Duck Cougar?
The girl I brought home was really impressed with the pile of blow you were doing while watching "Intervention."
I dumped him because he's never seen star wars. I'm certain I did the right thing.
his mom cheated on his dad so i think he has a weird freudian thing for whores
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
She makes walking on a treadmill look like a porno. I wish I could send over shots as an ice breaker.
That's effing brilliant. We should start a business.
Your either lost or getting food, if your lost find me a girl on your way back, if your getting food grab me a double cheese
Brown or brunette? Ketchup or mustard?
I love you bro
I just told him that with every paper, I'd take a picture of myself with one less piece of clothing. Who say's I can't be a tutor?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Pretty sure that molly fried my sinus infection away; i regret nothing
i don't remember going ever taking off my pants but my pubes are shaved into a K and kelsey is passed out in the shower.
Did you send me a cake saying 'Happy 1st One-Night Stand Ever'?
I don't care how hot she was. She didn't like Scooby Doo and I don't fuck with that.
Van sex tonight? No need to tell me how classy that sounded.
It's 3 am. Nothing I've tried can get the taste of failure and vomit out of my mouth.
Randomize