funny how all you have to say is "i'm infertile" and boys are stoked on you
do not get into a discussion with my roommate when im sitting there naked ever again.
I really wish I had added "blowjob on a slide at a playground" to my bucket list before last night.
We're not even buying beer. Just vodka. In pre-retrospect this was a bad idea but we're doing it anyway
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
I will pray to the gods of eye bleach for you
He's minimum effort, but maximum fuck.
Do you know how hard it is to was the scent of sex from your hair in a gas station bathroom?!
I have vodka and explosives. For once, we can blow something up that isn't a blow-up doll.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
I basically gave Miranda rights to the guy I hooked up with, jus so we were all clear what was happening
I had the bathroom of girls sing you happy birthday while you puked. I couldn't stop laughing. They were all so supportive
I am sweating Crown. It all went wrong when the ratio hit 50-50
Are we planning this because I am online looking for places with a Mechanical bull
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
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