on the last problem of the exam i just drew a picture of a cat and left
Never have I ever before welcomed her period with such enthusiasm. She was starting to pick out baby names. She got me "What to Expect When You're Expecting."
I've officially moved beyond college drinking. I just got business drunk at an internship seminar.
Ive been sitting around naked watching magic on youtube.
I made my rape whistle into a roach clip device. FRESHMAN YEAR!
I don't really want to explain to you right now but i just ate laundry detergent
Best dream ever last night. You moved here. Your Spanish name meant highway. Your favorite food was styrofoam.
There is a literally infinite number of spliffs going around this table.
Delicious
I feel like I'm at a sushi bar with a spliff belt.
Boobs speak an international language.
Of the two of us, which one has licked a drag queen's tit in the past 5 days?
Last thing I remember was a hand in the pants. Then I woke up next to a full beer and a McDouble, which I promptly had for breakfast.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Thou shall not get drunk and hit bitch cup in pong and take shirt off while wearing a see-through lace bra again
I still don't know his name but his ass is spectacular. Like he should never wear pants.
How dare sober me try to tell drunk me I can't eat the applesauce in the fridge! Stingy bitch IM EATING THE APPLESAUCE! you can tell sober me I said that.
Randomize
