just jacked off in the bed i was conceived in.
I cant watch the real world now after jersey shore. its like trying to go back to vagina once uve had anal
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
I'm starting to think The only feelings I have anymore are drunk and hung over
you can't hurt those
I seriously just found a rose petal in my vagina.
Meet me at the corner of "what the fuck" and"how'd you get in my bed" in 10 minutes.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
So your best guy friend eats your pussy once and a while, no big deal. It's like going to jiffy lube once and a while to let the professionals do it. Your husband should understand .
No apologies necessary. Just give me sex and Pop Tarts, and we'll call it even.
Netflix keeps asking me if I'm still watching just because I've been sitting here all afternoon...why do I feel like my tv is judging my life choices?
Thinking of someone think of me while masturbating while I masturbate. & that's how the over thinkers do it ✌️
Just cropdusted a little kid that wouldn't get out of my way in Kroger. Welcome to the real world bitch.
Well the hawks lost... so, of course, the only logical course of action was a bonfire in the middle of the street.
I think he just shit his pants. Yep he did. That's unfortunate.
Fucker was flying a Bruins flag. He can pick up the dog's poop himself.
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