So its not gay if you have sex with another woman and its academic
so what if I'm having sex with a woman for recreation?
Thats gay
I'm walking down the halls of our hotel and listening for sex noises and knocking when I do.
Dude... You bled on his hand... At this point it doesn't matter that you called him your exes name, seriously.
How long can I microwave pasta with a 20 percent alcohol content?
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Totally just locked myself outside of my house, in my robe, with the fedex man and a box of sex toys. Not my week.
did i walk over a car last night?
Complete silence. Background Willy Wonka music. An empty back of Lay's BBQ chips. These are the ingredients for an extreme acid trip.
This little shit keeps eating the playdoh so i replaced the green with wasabi from work. Wonder what his parents are gonna think when he burns his soft palette?
Well when I got home you were sitting at the table eating cold, leftover taco meat. I'd say you were pretty far gone by that time.
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PLEASE AT LEAST MEOW SO I KNOW YOU AREN'T DEAD
It was great. He never spoke.
That's not why it was great, just that's all I remember.
Pretty sure we had a civil war reenactment in your kitchen at 4am.
That would explain the cannon.
Dick is healthier for you than green beans
hey man , the girl you brought home last night is in the kitchen puking in the sink and asking if she can have more shots of Whiskey....think i should give her a shot glass or send her home....
Totally unrelated, but by the way I DO have one ball bigger than the other.
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