Can i come over
After you called me a desperate slut? No
Come over
Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
He is an equal opportunity slut.
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
I have a feeling this won't be the last time I wake up wrapped in a shower curtain with the words "Blame Bono" spray painted on it
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
The date officially concluded on the phrase "Nosh dat vag".
I just audibly asked myself if i wanted to masturbate.
And then audibly agreed
MY INSIDES ARE BASICALLY BEING WRUNG BY A CHAINSAW IM NEVER TAKING PLAN B AGAIN
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
Randomize
