What are these yellow papers in the kitchen?
These are the tickets we got last night.
Did i sign this one as Grizzly Bear?
Yes...yes you did.
Your brother just informed me that half a mouthful is a unit of measurement. I love talking to members of your family.
It's my birthday, I plan on masturbating and boating, maybe even masturbate on the boat.
we are cloud gazing and there is one that looks like a giant baby riding a dolphin and smoking a joint
i wish there was a reasonable explanation for why this reminds me of you
My roommate just got home. Made an entire package of bacon. Ate it. And then went to bed.
I can't wait till you move in so I can stop drinking alone.
it's a Wednesday?
:)
sitting in my room in a shopping cart. they couldnt get my legs out of the holes. i want breakfast.
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
You asked him for a membership to him and his dick.
Drinking, I should not. Got here I don't know. Still drunk, I am. At courtneys.
We just had a 30 min argument on the actual birth date of Jesus, it ended in my brother and ain't cursing each other and an 8 yr old answering it by using Siri.
Some fat latino guy has these 2 fat white moms making out with each other on the dance floor
Drinking Patron always ends with me puking or receiving anal. So make your move when I start ordering it.
He's gone. He left a note but all it says is "Dear Neil" followed by a drawing of a hand flipping the bird in the direction of a butt.
Randomize
