he said i look beautiful when i cum. i think i'm in love.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
its always fun the next morning to look around the room and see where all the clothing landed.
So I'm probably the first guy in history to tap out of a blowjob.
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
You said "sustain yourself" quietly over and over as you fed joeys hamster cashews. Acid you is a trip
S.O.S. he's talking about horses and breast feeding.
$645 later, she's throwing up in my washroom and asking for a cab. Hooker are soooo much cheaper.
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
Just saw a couple chasing each other on lawn mowers. Oh South Knoxville.
I've made this amazing blanket/pillow cocoon combo and I am set for life in here.
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
screwing the intern at work sucks when u find out the boss is too. She is a smoking hot though
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