I love you!
You're insane
Fuckin crazy man! Seriously though I think if you would have me I honestly seriously think about marrying u!
Alright now lets video chat so I can xshow u my dick! Hahahaha
I've decided to only have meaningless sex from now on.
And what brought this epiphany?
I've decided it's a lot easier to have dirty amazing sex with someone when you don't care about the other person or what they think of you. I'm going to test this theory soon. Will update you later
And Anthony pissed on himself at the strip club
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
He tried to blame not having a condom on the economy.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
After having to meet his mom half naked, running into the tree in front of her didn't seem so bad.
Pretty sure I just became the first person ever to use the word "boner" in a wedding card...
He just laughed at his drink laid on the floor and crawled to the bathroom
Nah, this is the University of Tennessee. She'll get the clap, and get busted for having pot in her dorm by spring break. This time next year she'll be part-timing at a community college as a nursing major. So predictable it hurts.
I'm gonna make some noodles and go to bed. Hopefully I don't fall into the stove or something.
I forgot my backup drink is supposed to be pedialyte and vodka. Add in the shit I'm losing as I drink. Win-Win right?
The only reason I have clothes in my overnight bag is to cover up my sex toys.
For a second fuck I think last night went extremely well... our sexual relationship is progressing at a pace that im quite satisfied with.
Randomize
