p.s. you have a small clit
YOU ARE THE MOST AWKWARD PERSON ALIVE.
hapi new year, hope this year brings u happiness and lots of sexi people ;)
stop writing like that.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
It's because you were crossfaded. And because drinks were 3 dollars. And because they accepted credit cards.
I was so stoned on the way to work, I pretended you were in the car with me. We sang "Mrs. Jackson" by outkast.
I feel like that needs to be the last time i end a text with "fuck them i love tequila".
Theres a midget tsa agent. Just an observation
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
So ive narrowed my options down to getting food or masturbating. Don't judge me
did i really sing to your nipples last night?
yes. and it was oddly very seductive
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
It's a long story, but I accidentally peed on my dog. I'll tell you about it tomorrow, and we shall never tell my wife.
They were so sore! Either I have bed bugs or you were biting my nipples last night and don't lie to me.
extra points if i make kids and or the elderly cry
I assure you, it was not a Porn Hub Bee Movie parody.
Randomize
