The Firefighter Games are going to be in Tampa the same weekend I am. I think God is answering my vagina's prayers.
so im gonna ask for shark week off tomorrow at work and i advise you do the same
No, he grudge fucked my ex so I wouldn't be tempted to get back with her. He is either the worst or best friend ever.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
will you please explain to me as to why or how i have a dirtbike tread looking bruise on my back?
Im blasting "Fat Bottom Girls" as loud as humanely possible in attempts that old ladies doing water aerobics will take the hint and get the fuck out of the pool.
Just please never masturbate in my bed again. I'm burning my sheets as I write this.
She has puke on the back of her shirt not quite sure how the hell she did that
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
Also the fuck cup must be buried with me
What's more sad than going to Target to buy Plan B and the new Sam Smith album?
Seriously, he's as bad as Joffrey. I hope this ends like Game Of Thrones did.
I vote we just hike, drink, and destroy dick
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
Randomize
