know what turns me on? long, stringy hair on a pasty looking girl with an overstuffed backpack and kneepads over her jeans in case she falls off her scooter
your less of a man for seeing that
to cover up your slurred speech you tried talking like the creepy old man from family guy
he took his pants off right in front of me then just stood there so i went for his boxers and he said he was waiting till marriage
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
I thought the one perk of the low caliber of men I've slept with thus far in my college career is that I would never run into them in the library. I've been here for ten minutes and we're on number three.
four loko is officially banned. leave it to the kids from a state school to fuck it up for everyone
I miss the time when Mondays weren't the new Thursdays. I can't drink like my 17 year old self anymore.
he kept telling me how much his girlfriend would love me while we were making. why does tequila always do this to me?
I'm on the toilet with no toilet paper. When are you coming over? I'm contemplating on just staying here until you arrive.
Just pee around me
He's far too busy staring into my soul to touch my tits.
He took some pill and now he's on all fours demanding we give him chips from the dog bowl. Come get him.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
whoevers yellow car is in your driveway right now... i plan to steal. just an FYI
I could have sworn that I went home last night... but judging from the couch I just woke up on, apparently not.
Randomize
