it's just weird having a massive boner in the morning when you could have used it the night before.
I just ate a whole bag of celery instead of getting up to get a glass of water. That high.
What's he like?
The usual. Sarcastic, dark, full of fucked up emotional problems that result in fantastic sexual prowess.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She seriously spent 30 minutes trying to make balloon animals out of my limp dick...
...
Exactly.
Basically I don't wanna put on pants...but I'm stoked for drinking my face off tomorrow.
whats our policy on dating high schoolers?
we dont have a policy but im pretty sure the state of michigan does
We could have had it all. And by all I mean sex in your Toyota Corolla.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That's like doing a cinnamon challenge in my vag - but more painful.
I learned a very valuable lesson tonight...don't touch a cops tazer
I think I sent pictures of my boobs to an Olympic athlete...
I am the most hated person in hoboken. Ive been doing drunken cake boss impressions down the street for the past 20 mins.
i think she learned that just cuz half shots were easier, doesnt mean she can have triple as many.
I wore my lizzie mcguire socks to the bar last night. Because that's how i get all the ladiez
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