Yea well when i pee it makes steam.
He's a collector of sorts
Any cool stuff?
You should see the collection of booggers in the carpet next to his desk
I basing my decision on whether or not to date someone on whether I could imagine having sex with them sober
So I just saw a commercial for tickle me Elmo furry gloves. And I thought hmm I bet I could jerk off with those. Is that a sign of deepseated charachter issues?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Either I get my picture taken sitting on a fuckin pony, or I'm not coming.
Isiahs hammered. And just came in to get his skateboard and said he has to prove something. This can't end well
The working title of my paper? "Tailgating: A Big Clusterfuck of Kids Who Dont Actually Give a Shit about Football"
I vote intervention dinner around 6, make up movie around 7:30ish, then apology drinks all night. Then hangover waffle house in the morning.
Don't worry we found her. Somehow she ended up on my roof with 2 bar stools
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Fucking plugged the shower with taquitos I just threw up.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Passed out mid cig in bed last night. Thank you cough for allowing me legal prescription hydrocodone.
Saved a second guy who was crying/on the verge of wigging out. Just call me the drug whisperer.
I woke to him laying in the floor puking in a shoe. So I guess we had a good night.
His relationship is over as soon as he sees my boobs. I’m going to titty fuck my way into his heart
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