guy picked up a cops taser, thing shot him in the neck, he went down and pissed himself, cop started laughing and hasnt called an ambulance.
how do you have sooo much energy?
billy mays threw in a lil somethin extra when i ordered some oxiclean last week
i got really high and listened to the spongebob squarepants theme song and, i swear to god, it was in german.
Tomorrow will not be complet unless someone eats me out. Just sayin
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
I'm relatively certain my chiropractor just judged me for admitting that my back is misaligned from the sex we had last night...
We were making out when she went into convulsions. At least now I know she's allergic to peanuts.
They got a 10 foot tall beach ball from the roof of a McDonalds. Get the fuck over here.
I feel like a blind man at a water park. Every step has the potential to be either fatal or lead to accidental, but totally enjoyable, sex.
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
and then she started to quack like a duck and u started throwing bread at her
This is kind of a weird question but were you the other girl Ben asked to do a group sex thing with?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Today, I lack passion for anything but Taco Tuesday.
The cat likes watching me spank Michael. I don’t know how to feel about this.
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