so he stopped for a second, looked up at me and said in a really creepy voice, "I can has cheeseburger?" and then went back to eating me out.
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
THEY SHOULD WARN YOU WHEN THEY MAKE JELLO SHOTS WITH JACK DANIELS!!! THEY SHOULD WARN YOU!!!!!!!
so apparently mom and dad slept together on the first date
i guess it runs in the family.
There's half of a squirrel in the bathtub - i figured you'd be the one to go to.
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
hey, sorry about all the butter. I thought it was gonna help.
She kept pulling joints out of her bra and asking strangers for birthday hugs.
Doap. Just bring some lube and a slingshot. Not sure y we need the slingshot.
I just connected with one of your drug dealers on LinkedIn.
I woke up knowing I have nowhere to be today except parties and it was glorious and I am so happy
Whatcha doing tonight? Reply TURNUP if you are drinking, or STOP to cancel messages
I vaguely remember making out with some dude. Please tell me he had all of his teeth.
I feel like asking for a towel for after I puke before I puke to be more respectful than jus going outside to puke and coming back inside covered in sweat and tears.
AMAZON SELLS SEX SWINGS!
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