What did I say to him last night?
Something along the lines of "your not here, I'm going to fuck sam. call me later babe, this won't take long, love you"
all in all not a bad night
When you only buy popcorn and condoms at the grocery store they know whats up.
So I just watched the Lakers/Magic game so I could have something to talk about with him after we have sex this time
So you really shouldn't go around telling people you're fireproof
I think I just need to sleep with both of them to see which I want to date.
You just went from promiscuous to slut in 3.2 seconds.
where are my pants?
you were passing out with two blankets and the person next to you was cold so you gave him your pants to keep warm
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
I honestly wish you had parked the car in the terminal garage and fucked me in the backseat but I guess I should be more forward
The last thing I remember is feeding country fried steak to my best friend in a bubble bath with my bare hands.
He got up when I started trying to balance my wine glass on his head.
I was like can I please fuck your hips back into realignment
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
Molly was fun. I was in a captain planet onesie in Wal-Mart talking to everyone haha
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Randomize
