I'll just stay a virgin forever then
You still have to go anyway
Then I guess I'll have to start sleeping around
Ross. Joey. Chandler. Who would you do?
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
i fell off the bed in the middle of it, and he yelled "5 second rule" and kept fucking me. i think im in love
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
Everything in my purse is 100% saturated in red wine, which made it challenging to cover up my booze breath with franzia soaked gum
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
I apparently insisted on hugging all the bushes and apologizing for pollution on the way home.
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
she genuinely believed that kangaroos are a cross between a deer and a T-rex
I got a 5/5 with my "I don't want a baby" rant essay. She said my use of the word "leeches" was a powerful metaphor :)
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
That girl is like a master class on how to be an unlovable crazy person.
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