If you borrow your friends real doll, should you wear a condom?
Do you know how hard it is to conceal the fact that you puked all over the bed that someone is sleeping in?
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
You turned to me, asked if I was having fun yet, and then threw up onto my jeans. Thanks for the awesome first time partying experience
He came in looking for condoms, iced coffee, and a gas tank. I need to be where he's going.
come in to starbucks and ill make you a 4loko latte before theyre banned
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
Im shrooming at the foot of a tree on top of a mountain. Feeling fly as fuckin socrates and bon iver.
At my place... I'm gonna be honest though stonewall Jackson is not going to be able to rally the troops. Too many shots of tequila
Yes, he does have a boomerang dick. No matter how many times I throw it away, it keeps coming right back and winds up hitting me in the head.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
Was your wine and cheese snap taken from the toilet?
Remind me to NEVER AGAIN mix beer with tequila with beer with whiskey with vodka with rum with vodka.
quit whining, rub some dirt on it, and lets get out there
its my penis
Last time I had a one night stand he ended up stalking me for two months.
So you're not picking up this weekend?
This weekend, I am Angela, visiting from Calgary. We'll have to roleplay this.
Randomize