i just got a Mexican deported. not sure how to feel.
So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
last night he was wasted watching Entourage and changed everyone in his phone book to LLOYD!!!!
Not much, really baked..... beethoven is AMAZING it's like i'm flying in space with baby jesus
You know it's been a rough year when your therapist mouth is just wide open. And I didn't even get to the real issue!
We should go, because after those margaritas time is running out on my sobriety clock.
Don't you judge us. Sockets make ideal bowls
i went out at 5pm and cant remember anything until 3am...i was at the bus stop parking lot running around doing the Arrested Development chicken calls.
Dude you were sitting in front of me eating uncooked bow tie pasta...
When ur uncle gives you free weed, you take it
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
He's got the most well kempt beard I've ever seen and I need it between my thighs is basically what I'm saying
the last thing I remember is taking a pull of ever clear and chasing it with vodka
You ran outside of the party to do the rain dance and swim in puddles
Judging from the sharpie on my face, glitter on my chest and women's tiger print panties i'm wearing last night was a thing.
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